Be a better version of yourself in the relationships that matter most
Regardless of where those relationships might be headed
Nobody teaches us how to relationship. Not really.
People try. Dads, brothers, mentors, and school counselors try to teach us something about relationships.
All that advice mostly boils down to a collection of tactics that still leave us wondering why we suck at it (despite having decades of experience).
Nobody else can give us wisdom.
They can share best practices, but nobody can tell us how we’re to show up in the world. Wisdom arises from experience. It evolves over time, but it has always been available. More on that in a minute.
We’re each different.
Making matters worse, the relationship that most often is causing us the most stress is the one with ourselves.
And if you read that last line thinking, “Not me.”
Are you sure?
This is what I’m sure about.
✔️ There’s probably something worth exploring.
✔️ It’s never all on them, even when it’s so obviously all on them.
✔️ There is a more empowered and confident version of me that can unfold with time and exploration.
Men work with me when they believe they can be a better version of themselves in the relationships that matter most, regardless of where those relationships might be headed.
What you and I do
We have a conversation, but not quite like a conversation with a good friend, as valuable as those may be.
In a coaching conversation, one gets the space to externalize their thoughts completely. Being allowed to speak without interruption, beyond the pauses of normal sharing, what comes out can be very interesting and useful.
Elements and themes show up in what I call “an unfolding,” not unlike the way a new leaf opens. This unfolding is where we find the gold. (Interestingly, it was in you the whole time.)
☞ One can unfold so powerfully that they find all the resourcefulness they’ll ever desire within. As such, I take the position that a coach needn’t be a permanent part of anyone’s life.
Through direct inquiry of our thoughts, we deepen our relationship with them and make discoveries about what is actually true right now. This is what we do together in these conversations.
Presence is central to these conversations. Also, presence is tough to describe.
☞ Every valuable moment in life happens in a state of presence in some way, either completely or mostly present. It’s something deeper than the default state of our minds.
Underneath the buzz of thoughts in our heads, presence is silently there all the time. It’s possible to notice it, and in a sense, operate from that space for periods of time, but it never goes away. Most of the time, our brains are just layering over it in discursive thoughts and stories.
In a coaching conversation, presence shows up as deep listening and reflection of what we’re hearing and noticing. Sometimes I’m noticing my own thoughts, and offering them to you. Mostly I’m reflecting what I’m getting from you, and asking what you notice.
This is how we go deeper into those thoughts and stories, This is how we find what’s really true.
What arises from these coaching conversations is co-emergent, meaning it would not have come out unless the two of us were in dialogue in this way at this time.
☞ Part of what unfolds is the relationship with wisdom. Learning to see and trust our own wisdom is some of the most important work we do together.
If you’re curious, book time with me. Let’s find out if we’re a match.
Book a 30-minute convo with me.
