What you and I do

We have a conversation, but not quite like a conversation with a good friend, as valuable as those may be.

In a coaching conversation, one gets the space to externalize their thoughts completely. Being allowed to speak without interruption, beyond the pauses of normal sharing, what comes out can be very interesting and useful.

Elements and themes show up in what I call “an unfolding,” not unlike the way a new leaf opens. This unfolding is where we find the gold. (Interestingly, it was in you the whole time.)

☞ One can unfold so powerfully that they find all the resourcefulness they’ll ever desire within. As such, I take the position that a coach needn’t be a permanent part of anyone’s life.

Through direct inquiry of our thoughts, we deepen our relationship with them and make discoveries about what is actually true right now. This is what we do together in these conversations.

Presence is central to these conversations. Also, presence is tough to describe.

☞ Every valuable moment in life happens in a state of presence in some way, either completely or mostly present. It’s something deeper than the default state of our minds.

Underneath the buzz of thoughts in our heads, presence is silently there all the time. It’s possible to notice it, and in a sense, operate from that space for periods of time, but it never goes away. Most of the time, our brains are just layering over it in discursive thoughts and stories.

In a coaching conversation, presence shows up as deep listening and reflection of what we’re hearing and noticing. Sometimes I’m noticing my own thoughts, and offering them to you. Mostly I’m reflecting what I’m getting from you, and asking what you notice.

This is how we go deeper into those thoughts and stories, This is how we find what’s really true.

What arises from these coaching conversations is co-emergent, meaning it would not have come out unless the two of us were in dialogue in this way at this time.

☞ Part of what unfolds is the relationship with wisdom. Learning to see and trust our own wisdom is some of the most important work we do together.

If you’re curious, book time with me. Let’s find out if we’re a match.

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